![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Alright tribers, there has been some sort of small little excitement thingy thing going on every time we hear that Four letter word that starts with a T being mentioned...and i know i have been a bubb
3 comments | Leave a comment
raggae
29 December 2008 @ 02:06 am
well it really is insane. like WHY IS MY TEXTBOX HERE SO TERRIBLY USELESS. i thought they used to have the colours and font selection on top. ugh! see im in a bad mood today...im snapping at livejournal. oh i figured that it has to b in "rich text" to have all the font selection and stuff. my bad. yay my colours are back in business. Well im in a bad mood today cause there have been a few mishaps that were out of my control.
First
I left my house early today to attend Derek's party. Derek's a NTU bowler and i reserved the 27th Dec so that i cld attend this party. I was supposed to meet a few pals so that we cld head down to Serangoon together. Then one msged with a sore throat, but we still gave the green light for the outing and stuck to our meeting. 6pm and Serangoon Mrt. At 5pm i gt another msg, one more pal down with the cramps, so it was only me and another left. So i rang her and well i guess the mood was pretty wet and she decided nt to attend. So i stood at Little India Mrt like a retard, and turned back to head hme. So today i pretty much dressed, left my house, went to little india mrt, and went hme. I felt really guilty and so msged Derek to apologise and he was pretty disappointed. I mean a party is a party, and i understand how it's like to be pangsehed...
CON'T
ok this is the flaw of saving half of your post and intending to finish it another day...nw i cant remember what i wanted to blog about yest..so the big bold "FIRST" up there, well i guess there's no second after it >.< Anyway things have been rockier than a kid's first attempt on a bicycle. But im trying to change and so are you. but change has to occur at the same time so that we both accomodate to each other. Today, it proved to be wrong. Things can actually get worse even as you are changing for the better. I seriously don't know how much longer i can take...
Well checked my grades online, rushed hme after watching Australia with anuaar today. Uh...doubt i will disclose it here but its the kind of grade where ar first ur happy but as u find out that others out there did much better all ur feelings of satisfaction just fade into oblivion. But oh well, at least im nt in a bad enough mood to cancel my outing with my darling juniors tomorrow. We are having Ladies Night at Pasta De Waraku. Haha not what you expected huh, nah we arent the partying bunch :| Well im getting really ticked off at Facebook cause i wanted to engage in some therapeutic Typing Race but it seems to b cocking up on me! Ugh... damn it.
First
I left my house early today to attend Derek's party. Derek's a NTU bowler and i reserved the 27th Dec so that i cld attend this party. I was supposed to meet a few pals so that we cld head down to Serangoon together. Then one msged with a sore throat, but we still gave the green light for the outing and stuck to our meeting. 6pm and Serangoon Mrt. At 5pm i gt another msg, one more pal down with the cramps, so it was only me and another left. So i rang her and well i guess the mood was pretty wet and she decided nt to attend. So i stood at Little India Mrt like a retard, and turned back to head hme. So today i pretty much dressed, left my house, went to little india mrt, and went hme. I felt really guilty and so msged Derek to apologise and he was pretty disappointed. I mean a party is a party, and i understand how it's like to be pangsehed...
CON'T
ok this is the flaw of saving half of your post and intending to finish it another day...nw i cant remember what i wanted to blog about yest..so the big bold "FIRST" up there, well i guess there's no second after it >.< Anyway things have been rockier than a kid's first attempt on a bicycle. But im trying to change and so are you. but change has to occur at the same time so that we both accomodate to each other. Today, it proved to be wrong. Things can actually get worse even as you are changing for the better. I seriously don't know how much longer i can take...
Well checked my grades online, rushed hme after watching Australia with anuaar today. Uh...doubt i will disclose it here but its the kind of grade where ar first ur happy but as u find out that others out there did much better all ur feelings of satisfaction just fade into oblivion. But oh well, at least im nt in a bad enough mood to cancel my outing with my darling juniors tomorrow. We are having Ladies Night at Pasta De Waraku. Haha not what you expected huh, nah we arent the partying bunch :| Well im getting really ticked off at Facebook cause i wanted to engage in some therapeutic Typing Race but it seems to b cocking up on me! Ugh... damn it.
Current Mood: 
gloomy
gloomyCurrent Music: Too glum to listen to music
04 December 2008 @ 02:54 am
Sometimes i think its a gift to be blind... Note that im not overlooking the struggles they go through but the beauty of being blind. By now u probably think im insane, oblivious and insensitive but im going to defend myself here. i hope.
being miss "i-have-to-know-the-truth", i kinda stumbled, ahem stumbled, upon something which i only found out later that i didnt want to see it. Now its disturbing me, just making rounds in my head. I was curious to know and was wondering about it, but now for SURE i know it is THERE.
To know that something so easy to do is not being done for you is just insulting to a person, to anyone. It just involves a click of the mouse...just that. And you wouldn't do that for me. Now all your words just seem sooooo meaningless, so pathetic.
Damn i guess what i saw affected me more than i expected. I shouldn't have pried.
Oh i drifted! From the above, it's pretty obvious that trust was involved and i'm not a fan of trust cause too many times has mine been taken away from me by my closest buddies. Being blind allows you to completely trust someone, with all your heart and soul. To not be able to hire a PI to take photos of your wife/husband cheating on you. Or chance upon a scandalous SMS in your wife/husbands phone.
Im not applauding oblivion here, but along the way blindness will force you to trust a person. Either that or you drive yourself mad with suspicion and anger.
I believe im heading for the latter, and guess what i am not blind. That's just so sad for me to know.
being miss "i-have-to-know-the-truth", i kinda stumbled, ahem stumbled, upon something which i only found out later that i didnt want to see it. Now its disturbing me, just making rounds in my head. I was curious to know and was wondering about it, but now for SURE i know it is THERE.
To know that something so easy to do is not being done for you is just insulting to a person, to anyone. It just involves a click of the mouse...just that. And you wouldn't do that for me. Now all your words just seem sooooo meaningless, so pathetic.
Damn i guess what i saw affected me more than i expected. I shouldn't have pried.
Oh i drifted! From the above, it's pretty obvious that trust was involved and i'm not a fan of trust cause too many times has mine been taken away from me by my closest buddies. Being blind allows you to completely trust someone, with all your heart and soul. To not be able to hire a PI to take photos of your wife/husband cheating on you. Or chance upon a scandalous SMS in your wife/husbands phone.
Im not applauding oblivion here, but along the way blindness will force you to trust a person. Either that or you drive yourself mad with suspicion and anger.
I believe im heading for the latter, and guess what i am not blind. That's just so sad for me to know.
Current Mood: 
cranky
cranky30 November 2008 @ 02:30 am
Well no colours today, smts wrng with livejournal. And well all e better to suit my current mood...
i jus realised why i treat him so differently nowadays, hw i cld b so blind to the reason which was sprawled right in front of me. Everything i kept inside of me has been dragging me down. Deep deep down, i have not hit rock bottom yet and for this i thank my stars.
We r hanging by a thread. Ironic that e deciding factor shld come a day b4 our 1yr6mnths anni. one & a half years. and in that time, we never bothered finding out about the serious things that wedges itself into every aspect of our relationship. We can never progress if we stay in this period, remaining oblivious to what the future holds for us will cripple our relationship more than we wld ever imagine.
Once again, he ended e call to think. While i do my thinking here. Not that im gg to list it out but i think better when i'm actively doing smt (ranting). Im afraid that everything will be flushed away after tmr night...maybe even more afraid than u wld ever expect me to be. But we have postphoned it for 6 months, and i cant wait a day longer.
On a lighter note (although i doubt it may seem light, really it IS). I was "bombarded" with calls and SMSes in the morning from Val and Grace asking me about a flea sale which i've only heard of once, which was at 3 a.m one school "morning" from grace. So it was weird that ppl were asking me about an outing that i didnt know of... haha aunty macik! i think u forgot me ah!!!! ok nvm, u owe me big big k :p
oh well everything is for the better, cause i kinda spent $90 on his gift and i feel a hole in my wallet, and my hearts suffering abit :\
Yea everything is for the better, even if things don't work out between us.
i jus realised why i treat him so differently nowadays, hw i cld b so blind to the reason which was sprawled right in front of me. Everything i kept inside of me has been dragging me down. Deep deep down, i have not hit rock bottom yet and for this i thank my stars.
We r hanging by a thread. Ironic that e deciding factor shld come a day b4 our 1yr6mnths anni. one & a half years. and in that time, we never bothered finding out about the serious things that wedges itself into every aspect of our relationship. We can never progress if we stay in this period, remaining oblivious to what the future holds for us will cripple our relationship more than we wld ever imagine.
Once again, he ended e call to think. While i do my thinking here. Not that im gg to list it out but i think better when i'm actively doing smt (ranting). Im afraid that everything will be flushed away after tmr night...maybe even more afraid than u wld ever expect me to be. But we have postphoned it for 6 months, and i cant wait a day longer.
On a lighter note (although i doubt it may seem light, really it IS). I was "bombarded" with calls and SMSes in the morning from Val and Grace asking me about a flea sale which i've only heard of once, which was at 3 a.m one school "morning" from grace. So it was weird that ppl were asking me about an outing that i didnt know of... haha aunty macik! i think u forgot me ah!!!! ok nvm, u owe me big big k :p
oh well everything is for the better, cause i kinda spent $90 on his gift and i feel a hole in my wallet, and my hearts suffering abit :\
Yea everything is for the better, even if things don't work out between us.
Current Mood: 
nervous
nervousCurrent Music: Don't Forget - Demi Lovato
20 November 2008 @ 01:14 am
Well i was studying for 204 when my curiosity got e better of me. So i went to look up the Virginia Tech massacre , and wounded up reading the Wiki version. Sorry if i skip the bumble bee mood today, but reading about VT massacre really made me very very upset.
I have to make a confession: I didn't really read up about the massacre when it came out in the papers last year. I choose to remain oblivious to the severity of it and it's impact. Im terribly ashamed of myself. I knew there was a shooting followed by the suicide of the perpetrator, who was a South Korean undergraduate holding a US PR pass.
My eyes drifted the the heading "Perpetrator" and as i read, i realised that he had mental issues, severe depression in 8th grade? After therapy and medication, he decided to stop. And in addition, he was faced with mockery from his peers for his autism (speech). As time went by, he snapped. Intimate details have been left out, my memory is failing me. At this point, i thought nothing much about this incident, till i saw the death toll 32 killed. 5 of which were professors and 27 students. Some of which died in the attempt to save their students or peers by barricading the door. The psycho shot through the door to gain entry, killing one of the professors who managed to hold the door long enough for all his students, except one to escape. The professor and the unfortunate student were killed.
Im DAMN lagged in this issue, but all the same, it has impacted me. I was in NIE library when i stumbled upon this article and reading about the heroic actions of students and teachers alike brought tears to my eyes. At times like these, do i realise how fortunate we are to have a government who bans the use of handguns or even all sorts of weapons (pardon my political knowledge). Never would i want to lose a child, friend, father, mother, loved one to the rampage of a raging lunatic. I would stab his corpse. Even that wouldn't bring happiness back into my life. Gosh, we are lucky.
If we meet in hell ... ...
I have to make a confession: I didn't really read up about the massacre when it came out in the papers last year. I choose to remain oblivious to the severity of it and it's impact. Im terribly ashamed of myself. I knew there was a shooting followed by the suicide of the perpetrator, who was a South Korean undergraduate holding a US PR pass.
My eyes drifted the the heading "Perpetrator" and as i read, i realised that he had mental issues, severe depression in 8th grade? After therapy and medication, he decided to stop. And in addition, he was faced with mockery from his peers for his autism (speech). As time went by, he snapped. Intimate details have been left out, my memory is failing me. At this point, i thought nothing much about this incident, till i saw the death toll 32 killed. 5 of which were professors and 27 students. Some of which died in the attempt to save their students or peers by barricading the door. The psycho shot through the door to gain entry, killing one of the professors who managed to hold the door long enough for all his students, except one to escape. The professor and the unfortunate student were killed.
Im DAMN lagged in this issue, but all the same, it has impacted me. I was in NIE library when i stumbled upon this article and reading about the heroic actions of students and teachers alike brought tears to my eyes. At times like these, do i realise how fortunate we are to have a government who bans the use of handguns or even all sorts of weapons (pardon my political knowledge). Never would i want to lose a child, friend, father, mother, loved one to the rampage of a raging lunatic. I would stab his corpse. Even that wouldn't bring happiness back into my life. Gosh, we are lucky.
If we meet in hell ... ...
Current Mood: uncomfortable
uncomfortableCurrent Music: Angel - Natasha Beddingfield
19 November 2008 @ 11:55 am
Well i cant say i am the happiest person on EARTH, but i dare say i am the happiest person uh...right now? ok that title is gone, but i am still happy :) ok there is definitely a reason for my once in a lifetime happy moment.
First, my exams are almost over! actually in my head, it is already over, e last ppr never counts rite? hahaha, im living in denial, but who cares. A brief summary of my emo days, Econs ppr which was last weds was pretty scary. i was nervous but nt as nervous as i was this Monday. Ohhhh i was terrified. Probably cause i did badly in the second quiz n i NEED to do well for the ppr, which i doubt i did but eh,its over. Tue's ppr, yest, i was cramming for the exam up till the ppr started.Memorizing definitions and models. I was nervous only for a lil bit, cause everone seemed pretty unprepared as well. I am consoled by other's failures? Mean but i dont take pleasure in it...ah i redeemed myself :D
Here's the fantastic part. I called anuaar after my ppr ended to kinda release my happiness, and i was greeted by a monotonous reply. When i asked him to call me back with his housephone (save money mah) he quickly said that he needed to go to the toilet and will call me back later.
That call never came.
Well i was too happy to bother, but i made a note to myself to ask whether his tummy ache was ok, then nag at him for postphoning my happiness call. So i msged krystal sayin that i was on my way back, n whether she wanted to meet in the canteen or in the room? She quipped tt she was warm after studyin n needed to cool off in the room first, so meet upstairs. So i unsuspectingly made my way back, opened my door and was faced with krystal sitting cross-legged and upright on her bed, facing my bed.
So i said, "Krystal...what are you..." And i turned to dump my things on my bed when i saw....
Anuaar!
He found a nice comfortable pose on my bed, lying down waiting for me to return from my exam. Ohhhh it was such a pleasant surprise and so unexpected. I screamed and jumped out of the door...was laughing my fool head off :) I remember this scene as if it was yesterday (it was) and everytime i think about it, i smle to myself. He even bought me a pillow! Which gave me stiff neck last night, but i still love him :) oh the joy of having someone who wld go to such an extent just to cheer me up from my exam blues which were gone after yests ppr. So he actually added to the joy. As for dinner, me n anu had fantastic chicken cutlet, really awesome, zen must bring u there to eat that. But it only came when krys finished her Wanton Mee :p nvm, she stoned at us eating haha.
Oh, im so happy:)
First, my exams are almost over! actually in my head, it is already over, e last ppr never counts rite? hahaha, im living in denial, but who cares. A brief summary of my emo days, Econs ppr which was last weds was pretty scary. i was nervous but nt as nervous as i was this Monday. Ohhhh i was terrified. Probably cause i did badly in the second quiz n i NEED to do well for the ppr, which i doubt i did but eh,its over. Tue's ppr, yest, i was cramming for the exam up till the ppr started.Memorizing definitions and models. I was nervous only for a lil bit, cause everone seemed pretty unprepared as well. I am consoled by other's failures? Mean but i dont take pleasure in it...ah i redeemed myself :D
Here's the fantastic part. I called anuaar after my ppr ended to kinda release my happiness, and i was greeted by a monotonous reply. When i asked him to call me back with his housephone (save money mah) he quickly said that he needed to go to the toilet and will call me back later.
That call never came.
Well i was too happy to bother, but i made a note to myself to ask whether his tummy ache was ok, then nag at him for postphoning my happiness call. So i msged krystal sayin that i was on my way back, n whether she wanted to meet in the canteen or in the room? She quipped tt she was warm after studyin n needed to cool off in the room first, so meet upstairs. So i unsuspectingly made my way back, opened my door and was faced with krystal sitting cross-legged and upright on her bed, facing my bed.
So i said, "Krystal...what are you..." And i turned to dump my things on my bed when i saw....
Anuaar!
He found a nice comfortable pose on my bed, lying down waiting for me to return from my exam. Ohhhh it was such a pleasant surprise and so unexpected. I screamed and jumped out of the door...was laughing my fool head off :) I remember this scene as if it was yesterday (it was) and everytime i think about it, i smle to myself. He even bought me a pillow! Which gave me stiff neck last night, but i still love him :) oh the joy of having someone who wld go to such an extent just to cheer me up from my exam blues which were gone after yests ppr. So he actually added to the joy. As for dinner, me n anu had fantastic chicken cutlet, really awesome, zen must bring u there to eat that. But it only came when krys finished her Wanton Mee :p nvm, she stoned at us eating haha.
Oh, im so happy:)
touched27 October 2008 @ 04:37 pm
Well im back from lunch, pretty much slept from 12pm to 2.44pm? hahah dont blame me for being specific :p Anyway, its been like that. I realised that my exams are fast approaching and typically im not prepared. Its my fault cause i still feel that there is time and i can cram everything but well my recent quizzes have been crammed and trust me, it ain't good.ok for e record, my grades are'nt out yet, but i know its going to suck. Haha...have no idea wads causing my recent down-surge in my mood. It started on Sunday and it overlapped (sadly) to Monday. Monday was really obvious cause i went out with anuaar and well, my insecurities were bugging me so badly. I tried hinting to him but well as they say, the men don't get it. EVER.
Feel pretty bad for causing a whole saga over smt which i felt. I never knew that my insecurities could get such a tight grip round my throat and literally hurt the people around me, including myself. Sometimes i really just spend time wondering "where the heck did i get it from? why am i like that...are others like me?" And me being me, i asked around and well i guess there are others like me! Its like i said "the men don't get it...EVER". Men and women band together with their own sexes to feel secure but little do they know that when they do, nothing is shared with the other sex. So both gangs will continue to think that the other grp consists of idiots. i have officially given up explaining my sentiments to him, he seriously doesnt get it and well.
Feel pretty bad for causing a whole saga over smt which i felt. I never knew that my insecurities could get such a tight grip round my throat and literally hurt the people around me, including myself. Sometimes i really just spend time wondering "where the heck did i get it from? why am i like that...are others like me?" And me being me, i asked around and well i guess there are others like me! Its like i said "the men don't get it...EVER". Men and women band together with their own sexes to feel secure but little do they know that when they do, nothing is shared with the other sex. So both gangs will continue to think that the other grp consists of idiots. i have officially given up explaining my sentiments to him, he seriously doesnt get it and well.
19 October 2008 @ 02:57 pm
Was kinda thinking to myself... i am a freaking retarded person. Like ok, not a real retard, but someone who is so unsure of things and jumps right in. From the start, i knew i wasn't ready for it, and yet i went ahead with it. Ok so i can defend myself by saying it was pressure. Although till now i have no regrets getting myself into this relationship, i tend to wonder whether i am ready for this. I believe that i am not mature enough in this field. For the past few weeks i have been thinking a lot, a lot about things that would make me unhappy. But we all have to face the music sometime. I really want this to work, so im going to set aside a month. Till then, if things do not get better, i think its better to call it quits? Today is the 19th October. ok wait, next month is so not a good time haha. Uh lets say the end of November. The 30th shall be the day i look at things from a different perspective.
Having two quizzes this week, im pretty smothered with things so i kinda need sme outlet. Well, now that i have two blogs (its such a pain) i kinda alternate. Its not good for friends but i doubt i have a loyal league of followers anyway. Its more for myself discoveries, im just lazy to pick up a pen and write it down in my oh-so-neglected Diary. I seriously have to find it and continue writing =) Cant be so lazy anymore hahah, ok maybe i can :p
Well since i have nothing much to say, how bout some pictures! I haven't been uploading pictures on my blog for the longest time ...hahah i hope this doesnt piss me off.
Having two quizzes this week, im pretty smothered with things so i kinda need sme outlet. Well, now that i have two blogs (its such a pain) i kinda alternate. Its not good for friends but i doubt i have a loyal league of followers anyway. Its more for myself discoveries, im just lazy to pick up a pen and write it down in my oh-so-neglected Diary. I seriously have to find it and continue writing =) Cant be so lazy anymore hahah, ok maybe i can :p
Well since i have nothing much to say, how bout some pictures! I haven't been uploading pictures on my blog for the longest time ...hahah i hope this doesnt piss me off.
01 September 2008 @ 01:10 pm
Wow this is my first entry haha... well i guess theres always a start. found out that this place is pretty dangerous yea. u can kinda block off friends from friends. heard from a friend once that she wrote smt really nasty (and im refraining from the usage of vulgarities here, so u can imagine how bitchyyy the topic was. coincidently THAT friend added her on LJ. wanting permission to read her LJ. My friend panicked. Deleted every lingering trace of that particular bitch post and every comment posted on her tag board. So scheming isnt it. I wonder if that will ever happen to me? or maybe someday it will be my turn to do it to some unfortunate soul huh? Ah shucks. i wont hide behind my blog anyway, if a similar scenario happened, i wont delete anything and maybe even take it as an opportunity to let that bitch noe that shes not liked. so u can go ahead n delete me from ur facebook.
Really bitchy here but i like my first post to be smt juicy haha. Had lessons today, prob gg to get PMS sn cause i can feel the "grouch" take over me. Was so put off by this friend who is obviously using me cause shes NEVER there for me. hah. she literally uses me as sme kindofa float. oh n im sorry if any mac-users take offence to this, but i categorise mac-users into Arrogant Snobs (dont glare at me, Readers Digest proved it to be true) *deal with it. Honestly im nt one bit jealous of Mac-users(no like seriously MAC users nt snobs). They can flaunt it and sashay past me with their mac-book pro/air/paper/tissue prata. whatever...im nt one bit tempted to lay by hands on it. hahaha...so dont go putting down my Dell. At least i didnt have to burn my life savings for a Brand.
Anyways back to jealousy. im such a jealous person. well sincerely theres no link between the Mac thing n jealousy. The mac thing is kinda a fact. ok it IS a fact. hahaha. but anyway, i jus cant seem to keep that green eyed monster chained to the basement. it creeps up every fortnight and it changes me. the only successful way is to sleep, sleep and hope that it passes me by. If not, it takes over me. My rationality. And i take it out on the ppl i love the most. Worst thing is that i dont even noe when or how to say sorry cause seriously, Sorry jus doesnt cut it anymore.No one accepts a sorry, they accept Mastercard.
Loads of school work running up my back, quizzes that i never knew existed and reflective essays which my brain cleanly erased without prior notification. Whoa, they r jus back stabbing me slowly. Like someone i know. hahaha. Oh the lovely memories we will never have again, yayyy.im in this with you my friend. the whole family is into this. you even replaced V.W!
Regretted nt making u bitch topic first hahaha.better start reading smt or else im bound to fail whatever other assignments that are flooding my mailbox. AH $%^@#$# idiots.
Really bitchy here but i like my first post to be smt juicy haha. Had lessons today, prob gg to get PMS sn cause i can feel the "grouch" take over me. Was so put off by this friend who is obviously using me cause shes NEVER there for me. hah. she literally uses me as sme kindofa float. oh n im sorry if any mac-users take offence to this, but i categorise mac-users into Arrogant Snobs (dont glare at me, Readers Digest proved it to be true) *deal with it. Honestly im nt one bit jealous of Mac-users(no like seriously MAC users nt snobs). They can flaunt it and sashay past me with their mac-book pro/air/paper/tissue prata. whatever...im nt one bit tempted to lay by hands on it. hahaha...so dont go putting down my Dell. At least i didnt have to burn my life savings for a Brand.
Anyways back to jealousy. im such a jealous person. well sincerely theres no link between the Mac thing n jealousy. The mac thing is kinda a fact. ok it IS a fact. hahaha. but anyway, i jus cant seem to keep that green eyed monster chained to the basement. it creeps up every fortnight and it changes me. the only successful way is to sleep, sleep and hope that it passes me by. If not, it takes over me. My rationality. And i take it out on the ppl i love the most. Worst thing is that i dont even noe when or how to say sorry cause seriously, Sorry jus doesnt cut it anymore.No one accepts a sorry, they accept Mastercard.
Loads of school work running up my back, quizzes that i never knew existed and reflective essays which my brain cleanly erased without prior notification. Whoa, they r jus back stabbing me slowly. Like someone i know. hahaha. Oh the lovely memories we will never have again, yayyy.
Regretted nt making u bitch topic first hahaha.better start reading smt or else im bound to fail whatever other assignments that are flooding my mailbox. AH $%^@#$# idiots.
Current Mood: aggravated
aggravated